Gay Relations: Be The Person Your Looking For

By Jon Puché


Guys, how many times have we sat around and complained about our significant others and how we want them to be more and do more. Be more attentive, be more passionate, be more enthusiastic, be better communicators, show more support etc… But how many times have we lacked in our own relationship duties and pay’d it dust because we refused to see the error in our ways.

Over time, I have asked so many of my single judys, “Why are you single?” and heard the same ole thing, “I’m single because I can’t find anyone who matches my intellect or matches my swag,” or (the most popular answer) “Niggahz aint shit”. Then my next question usually is, “Well, what are you looking for in a man?”

And I get the entire encyclopedia.

 ” I need a man that’s going to do this, and do that and be about their business.” And I think to myself, HUNNY, you don’t possess any of those qualities your requesting so why would you be looking for someone with those type of qualifications. Too many times have I heard guys, or people in general, go on and on and on about what they feel they deserve and what they feel they should and should not settle for and I have to burst their little bubbles.

How dare you ask that someone be more then you are? How dare you ask that someone bring more to the table then you? We always use the term “Real Recognize Real” but don’t really get what that means. Nine times out of ten the guy your checking for isn’t checking for you and it’s because you don’t have what it takes. Your looking for a guy with a masters degree and a salary job or a guy with a cute coin and heavy stock in the social scene but you only have a high school diploma and are constantly in the middle of some mess that may or may not have anything to do with you.  You hit the club scene every other night rudely dismissing every other guy because physically they’re not up to your standards and you’re no Tyson Beckford darling. Don’t get me wrong, we all have our types and we all have our particular attractions but there is a way you go about it. There’s someone out there for everyone but lets face it, some people are going to be loveless until they learn to love themselves and accept who they are before someone can accept them.

We set these standards and fill ourselves with these fairy tales and totally disregard reality. No one is perfect, if you want perfect get a dildo. Nowadays people come with baggage. It’s very rare that we find an individual that comes to the table with even half of what were looking for let alone the full package. We get so caught up in our own world that we miss the opportunity of companionship. We subconsciously select “Nothing ass niggahz” because somewhere in our psyche we know we don’t fit the criteria we set for our counterparts.  Pride gets in the way, masks our “Prince Charming” and we miss him on our bullshit

Finding the man for you is pretty simple, it has more to do with our maturity then the maturity of others and I believe I have a simple solution.

It requires the following:  

Be open to the possibility that the guy for you may come in a different wrapping. Be patient when seeking this man, nothing looks worse then an unsuccessful serial dater. Be the intelligence you seek. Possess the intellect you seek. Look the part, if your seeking an Adonis, be an Adonis mentally and physically.  And lastly,  Be the man your looking for. But if at any point all else fails, Fake it till you make it baby. Lol, jk!



  1. Omfg, this makes so much sense to me……and I live in Nigeria (that’s saying something). Thanks for these honest to the point pieces of advice; will email this to friends right after I click “post comment” (its that good)

  2. KilPrity says:

    (Oh My God😱) this is so true! The same things I have been trying to tell people for years!! Awesome article keep them coming I would love to read more

    • CrownedKing says:

      Wow the ladies have been read. But the best part and most truthful part of the article is “We subconsciously select nothing ass niggaz because somewhere in our psyche we don’t fit the criteria we set and demand from our counterparts” wow well said I am sharing this as I read. Makes you want to tell that habitual single and yet looking person bitch your looking out of your range. Focus on the U before you try and add another letter to make the word US!!!!!!

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