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Accept Rejection

By Jon Puché

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Let’s face it…

In this lifestyle it’s hard to find a man. Whether it’s a date, a “friends w/ benefits” or a relationship, everyone is so caught up in the outer experience that we don’t give the inner experience a chance. We allow our “small minded”, materialistic, narcissistic society to dictate our wants and needs in a man. We meet a man and he says all the right things, makes us feel like we are exactly what we he wants in a partner  or at the least in a date and we get too COMFORTABLE. Our emotions rush and we come to a point where we prematurely say, “This Could Be It”, and soon after comes REJECTION.

We all have gotten rejected. Face to face, A4A, Facebook, Jack’d, Grindr etc… It’s happened to all of us at some point in our lives in some way pertaining to relationships. Some guys won’t even have the common courtesy to reject you at all; they’ll just ignore your text, won’t return your call or block your profile.

“Those are the worse!”

We conclude that this random guy is shady, malicious or just ignorant. We tell ourselves some many different things to get comfortable with the fact that some guy you exhausted so much energy getting to know happens to not be into you. You go through the motions trying to remember what it was you said or did to make this particular person not like you anymore and it befalls you because you can’t understand, for the life of you, what happened. You thought everything was sweet. You replay every moment you all shared and for some reason you come to the realization that maybe it was you, maybe you didn’t fit their criteria, and maybe you weren’t what they expected.

Uhh uh Hunny, Don’t even do it to yourself!

In this world, WE MOVE TO QUICK. We go from being strangers, to strangers getting to know each other, to strangers going on a date, to strangers having sex (for those gurlz who give it up on the first night), to strangers falling head over heels NEVER once stopping to think if this was a proper courtship to begin with. Stop getting too personal too fast; Give the guy a chance to inquire within! Come to the realization that that guy rejecting you could be a blessing in disguise. Stop trying to make some momentary man a lifetime husband. Especially if you don’t know him, and let’s face it, how well do we really know these dudes?, how well could you really get to know a person who doesn’t know themselves? A lot of times these guys don’t have it together and play the role to make us feel secure in letting our guards down and sending him those “ass shots” through the phone he begged for, “I would know because I was once that guy”. Nine times out of ten the guy let you know it wasn’t going to be what you expected from the gate so don’t blame yourself. It’s not you, it’s him! Instead, come to these conclusions; maybe you were too much for him, maybe he wasn’t ready to be what you needed in a man, maybe he knew he was full of shit, maybe he couldn’t face the fact of you demanding him to STEP THE FUCK UP, maybe he was afraid of being a man. Accept that sometimes our selection of niggaz is flawed. Granted, some you gurlz indulge in being messy and lying on these social networks, catfishing, and you truly deserve to be rejected because there is nothing worse than a liar.

At the end of the day, if he rejected you then move on. There is nothing you can do or could have done to make him decide otherwise. He knew what he was going to do from the moment he met you. I have learned that in order to circumvent disappointment, have no expectations. Accept the fact that you have been rejected and move on. You’ll see each other around or happen to cross paths on some website and he’ll just be “THAT GUY”. Understand that some dudes are not REAL; some dudes immediately turn into that dude you described in the “Interest” section of your profile and that is not your fault. So don’t internalize the next man bullshit!

Keep it moving, there is a man out there for everyone and yours could be the next dude you meet. So clear your mind, remove those texts, delete that number and ACCEPT THAT REJECTION because the next man won’t stand for your mental insecurities and you will fuck around and a miss the perfect man on that bullshit.  Real Talk, a man come a dime a dozen and it’s not for you to spend your time worrying about some lame.

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Comments

  1. All that is sooo very much true it has happen to me as well and I just come to realization that it happens to us all I’m not the only person and I don’t have no expectations anymore cause it is what it is u can’t put your feeling into these dudes take things one day at a time and just go with the flow

  2. Very well said.

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