What is Love?

By Jon Puché


It’s our natural instinct as humans to need and want LOVE. The undeniable desire to be loved motivates us to seek companionship; however most do not know how to go about attaining it. We go through all the right motions but in the end something always stands in our way. Friends, family, work, past relationships, personal issues etc. We allow these entities to manipulate our feelings about love and those we choose to share it with. However the only person we have to blame in these types of situations is OURSELVES. As adults we all know what we want but we pretend to not know.  We know what attracts us to that special someone, but many of us are prone to feeling defeated by love. I believe it’s the process of LIFE that our definition of love is tainted during our attempts at finding true love.

In the midst of finding love we lose sight of our main objectives, which is to love and to be loved but we place focus on the wrong things. Instead we focus on his looks, which could play a major part in selecting our partners but often we find that he’s internally unattractive. We focus on his financial status, which ultimately adds to the stability of the relationship, but in turn becomes the foundation that ultimately crumbles. We focus on our own insecurities and bash his past so that we never allow him to see the real us, actually building a wall instead of a relationship. All of these vain efforts eventually contribute to our inability to be loved.

IT doesn’t have to be this way, it could work. I’m going to give you two tips that I think could help you in making love something tangible instead of something we see on the green screens of Hollywood.

First, define love for yourself. Never take advice that could change your personal definition. Love advice should only enhance what you already know. It should act as an addition to your meaning. And I say this because someone else’s definition is specifically curtailed to their specific needs, wants and experiences. When your love is defined, real love will manifest.

Secondly, (and I find this to be the most simple of the two but the most profound) Learn to deal with your insecurities or shut them down. Please note that NO other person can help you deal with your insecurities, it’s totally internal. Listen hunny, no man can make you feel anything special for any quality or flaw within yourself without you first acknowledging them and accepting them. It is crucial that you identify with the love for yourself because it’s the only way you can successfully incorporate love from another person.

These two steps will put you in such a positive head space that in turn love would find you. Love never comes to those who go searching for it, it should never be the reason you do or say something. It should never be the reason you decide to make any type of choice in life whether it’s personal or professional. Love is love and that is only defined by you.



  1. “We know what attracts us to that special someone.” – This is very poignant! Its not a search, we essentially know and feel what makes us happy. Its just a matter of getting out of our own way.

  2. parlerdinde says:

    Reblogged this on French Culture, Paris, Music, Literature and Insightfully Gay and commented:
    A brilliant post from a superb blog. Good on, Mr. Jon Puché!

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