How soon is too soon?

By Jon Puché

gay-coupleThis is definitely a question we all have to take into consideration. We meet a guy and he’s everything we need in a man. He’s attentive, passionate, mature and attractive. He makes us feel as though we could break down every barrier and place total control in his hands. We get comfortable and begin to share some of our most inner secrets, things we wouldn’t dare share with others, and we forget to censor ourselves. We subconsciously believe that keeping information and experiences about ourselves to ourselves is the wrong thing to do. The infatuation takes over and even though your intentions are genuine and true, his may not.

So how soon is too soon? I say it depends on the experience you are trying to provide for this man. Sex, although very intimate, isn’t as personal as personal/private information. Sex comes with the territory in some situations, especially in this lifestyle, but if it’s a relationship you are after I would advise you to not give it up on the first night. But if its information they seek, be cautious. Some people start out with every intention on keeping your information to themselves but somehow something you shared with them gets out. “We all have had it happen to us and wished we didn’t share those intimate/delicate details”. Be comfortable in knowing that withholding the goods (whether its information or sex) will work out for you in the long run. Honestly, I am a firm believer that there are some things that ought not to be discussed.

“Some things, like your past relationships, aren’t their business”, and should remain in your past. I find with a lot of my good girlfriends, that as soon as the past is brought up the relationship goes sour. It could be a number of reasons as to why the relationship stopped and it could be on either side of the relationship. It could be the number of past relationships you had, who your ex’s are, the type of guy, the reason as to why y’all broke up, etc… So NO, don’t share that information and encourage him not to either. It’s not important and if he cares for you or vice versa, it should not matter any way.

Be mindful in the type of experiences you give to the next man. Not every man is boyfriend potential therefore do not deserve that type of treatment. Know when to share certain things be it sex and or information and understand that it makes you more vulnerable should you decide to share too soon.

When it comes to this type of situation there is no one true answer, there is no right or wrong, there is only opinion. I can’t tell you how to determine whether it’s the right time, I can only help you protect yourself until you all feel that time has come.


  1. I completely agree… I also appreciate your closing argument because that’s as real and as raw as it gets…. Some situations you can handle or control but others you can but the best thing to always do is PROTECT your self and always n mindful of any and everything that may or may not change about the person and/or situation. Thanks puché

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